What if I told you waterbugs prefer warm, damp areas like basements? | Mickey Z.

IMAGE: CC-BY-SA-3.0 

Mickey Z. -- World News Trust

Sept. x, 2018

This story begins with five waterbug facts:

1. Not actually a "waterbug" but rather an American Roach (Periplaneta americana)

2. Can reach up to 2 1/8 inches in length

3. Both sexes have fully developed wings

4. Reddish-brown in color with a yellowish band near the head

5. Prefer warm, damp areas like basements 

I offer this information because one of the gyms at which I once trained clients was at basement level. Therefore, it's impossible to avoid the occasional visit from a multi-legged, reddish-brown creature in such a venue. Needless to say, my clients would not have been acquiescent to sharing gym space with a Periplaneta americana and the appearance of a two-and-one-eighth incher was to be avoided at all costs.

Here's the set-up: It was a humid August morning and a female client and I were the only people using an Upper East Side basement gym. In other words, we've ourselves got a damp, low-traffic basement environment. Right on cue, as my client finishes a set of push-ups, I discern movement out of the corner of my eye. If you've ever seen a waterbug run, you know exactly what I mean. These creatures can cover ground quickly and are not diminutive. If one decides to scurry past you, it does not go overlooked.

Fortunately, my client was wiping her face with a towel. This gave me a chance to reach out with my left leg and lightly foot-slap the Periplaneta americana into the corner… out of sight for now, but definitely not out of mind. 

Why didn't I squash it, you wonder? Well, even if I were able to kill it on my first try (highly unlikely as I've seen waterbugs survive 10-20 foot stomps), this would result in a very conspicuous death scene smack dab in the middle of the stretching area.

My American roach nemesis played hide and seek with me for the rest of the session and I garnered some odd looks from my client as I maneuvered her from one end of the small gym to the other. Hey, the stakes were high. She catches sight of him and she'll never want to train there again… leaving me in the desperate position of quickly finding a new gym that welcomes outside trainers before I lose her as a client.

When Periplaneta suddenly vanished, I spent the remaining few minutes of our workout sweating… just waiting for him to magically appear a few inches from my client's face. There would be screaming, accusations, threats, and the type of bad energy that could forever taint a trainer-client relationship.

She eventually finished up and left — leaving me to spend the rest of the day hoping Periplaneta hadn't hitched a ride in her gym bag.

Mickey Z. is the founder of Helping Homeless Women - NYC, offering direct relief to women on the streets of New York City. To help him grow this project, CLICK HERE and make a donation right now. And please spread the word!